The Funny 115 Guestbook

Message:

10:48pm 07-05-2018
Mario
Paul,

Survivor-Central was one of the four biggest websites during the early years of the show, it was run by Murtz Jaffer and I was the most popular of the columnists. It went defunct about 15 years ago but yes you can still find it through the Wayback Machine.
6:27pm 07-03-2018
SiliconGlitches
It's not your usual format, but someone suggested this for a FUBC picture:

https://imgur.com/OWnEXFt
6:05pm 06-30-2018
Paul
Hey, what is Survivor-Central? I keep hearing about on your website. I think it's a website, and if so, I'd really be interested in going on it. Is it something still accessible online or on the Wayback Machine?
9:50am 06-28-2018
Mario
I made a specific effort to not do much with Phillip and the code names. I thought they were annoying and they completely took over his seasons.
8:33pm 06-27-2018
goodshotgreen
I'm presently rewatching Caramoan and there's a funny scene where Andrea is complaining that Phillip is giving everyone codenames. But there are no more Caramoan entries to come unless it's top five.

Did you overlook it or do you just not think it's F115 worthy?
5:16pm 06-22-2018
Mario
Ah, I found it. It's #14.

http://funny115.com/v1/14.htm
5:13pm 06-22-2018
Mario
Oh man, I haven't looked at version 1 in a decade. I'd have to go dig around and remember what it was.
7:55pm 06-21-2018
John
What is the 1st golden moment in V1? I can't find it for the life of me

Found #11 and #4 but can't find the 1st
5:46pm 06-15-2018
Jack
I don't even want to win, I just want everyone else to lose
3:09pm 06-14-2018
Mario
Jack if you pull that off you would be a legend.
1:11pm 06-11-2018
Jack
Okay, so I have a loose plan on what I would do if I ever got on the show. I'd like your seal of approval for my take on the "Andy Kaufman but even harder than Fairplay/Cesternino did it to the point of redundancy, and honestly not even that optimal in terms of win equity" strategy.

In the game:

- Bully everybody with friendship, work hard, and generally just be as nice as possible to every person there

- Pretend I've never seen the show before and that I even refused to watch it in sequester. If I find an idol, I will bring it back to camp and ask everyone what it is. Immediately play it at the next tribal I go to no matter what. Bonus points for pissing off Jeff.

- Constantly ask for clarifications on the rules of the game, turning this up to 100 if I get to do individual immunity challenges

- Belabor the importance of working as a team and not betraying each other to my core alliance. Tell them that I grew up in foster care and they're the first real family I've had.

Other things if I get the opportunity:

- If I get to the family visit, have one of my actor friends show up like Asian Jim and be my "girlfriend" (I'm asexual). During the challenge they will fake a heat stroke and I will feign concern for their life. Later go to each player individually and tell them in confidence about my girlfriend's 'heart condition'. I figure the only thing that can match a loved one dying off screen is a loved one almost dying, but on screen.

- Steal another players/tribes puzzle pieces while nobody is looking, if the producers let me

- Fake a broken leg immediately at the merge

In Confessionals:

- Make constant inflammatory remarks about how much the other players suck and I hate them

- Belabor the fact that I'm the smartest/funniest/best looking person out there

- All voting confessionals will be identical. I hold up the paper, wince at the camera while tilting my head to the side, and say as condescendingly as possible: "Unfortunate."

- Talk openly about my enthusiasm for the Church of Satan

- Complain when anything goes wrong. If nothing goes wrong, complain about the weather. Keep finding things to complain about.

- Drop sick references niche internet horror-comedy fiction community 'The SCP Foundation'

- Try to incorporate product placement for non CBS-sponsors

During the Airing:

- Create a bunch of fake social media accounts to shit on me, including getting into twitter fights with myself. Have the fake accounts make it really mean and personal to trick the internet fans into liking me.

- Also get into twitter fights with everyone else, just to cover my tracks.

- Put out fake spoilers that I win just to flex on the reddit winner prediction game.

- If I actually do win, post a bunch on edgic forums about how my chances of winning are literally zero. Bonus points if I can get banned from sucks.

- During exit interview with Rob Cesternino, pretend to be really upset and offended about .

- After the season, delete all social media and disappear as mysteriously as I arrived
5:45pm 05-27-2018
aaa
Your site is the best, Mario. Thank you for creating it! I think the web design is outstanding and I use it as my inspiration.
11:20pm 05-10-2018
Mario
A little bit ironic. Don't you think?
5:39am 05-09-2018
The Face Fan
Ironic that your second Samoa podcast is up just when strong rumours surface that Russell Hantz is coming onto our Aus version as a player.
11:09pm 05-01-2018
Mario
Angus, thank you so much for the comments! I am so proud of those All Star stories, to me they will always be the best things I have ever done. But I would never try to do one again, they are just way too much work and there isn't much of a demand for them anymore. I wrote all three of those stories before there was ever a real All Stars. So the minute they did a real one on the show, that sort of ruined the concept because now you'd be writing about a parallel universe and that just gets confusing. So sadly, I retired from writing those way back in 2003.

I have been meaning to turn all three of them into either printed books, or maybe e-books at some point. I'll let you know if that ever happens. It's something I have been considering for a while.

By the way, have you ever read my book? If you have read all my columns and Funny 115 entries that would be right up your alley. I'm planning to start the next one in a couple of months.
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Number of pages: 98
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