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The Funny 115 Guestbook

5:46pm 06-15-2018 Jack: I don't even want to win, I just want everyone else to lose

3:09pm 06-14-2018 Mario: Jack if you pull that off you would be a legend.

1:11pm 06-11-2018 Jack: Okay, so I have a loose plan on what I would do if I ever got on the show. I'd like your seal of approval for my take on the "Andy Kaufman but even harder than Fairplay/Cesternino did it to the point of redundancy, and honestly not even that optimal in terms of win equity" strategy.

In the game:

- Bully everybody with friendship, work hard, and generally just be as nice as possible to every person there

- Pretend I've never seen the show before and that I even refused to watch it in sequester. If I find an idol, I will bring it back to camp and ask everyone what it is. Immediately play it at the next tribal I go to no matter what. Bonus points for pissing off Jeff.

- Constantly ask for clarifications on the rules of the game, turning this up to 100 if I get to do individual immunity challenges

- Belabor the importance of working as a team and not betraying each other to my core alliance. Tell them that I grew up in foster care and they're the first real family I've had.

Other things if I get the opportunity:

- If I get to the family visit, have one of my actor friends show up like Asian Jim and be my "girlfriend" (I'm asexual). During the challenge they will fake a heat stroke and I will feign concern for their life. Later go to each player individually and tell them in confidence about my girlfriend's 'heart condition'. I figure the only thing that can match a loved one dying off screen is a loved one almost dying, but on screen.

- Steal another players/tribes puzzle pieces while nobody is looking, if the producers let me

- Fake a broken leg immediately at the merge

In Confessionals:

- Make constant inflammatory remarks about how much the other players suck and I hate them

- Belabor the fact that I'm the smartest/funniest/best looking person out there

- All voting confessionals will be identical. I hold up the paper, wince at the camera while tilting my head to the side, and say as condescendingly as possible: "Unfortunate."

- Talk openly about my enthusiasm for the Church of Satan

- Complain when anything goes wrong. If nothing goes wrong, complain about the weather. Keep finding things to complain about.

- Drop sick references niche internet horror-comedy fiction community 'The SCP Foundation'

- Try to incorporate product placement for non CBS-sponsors

During the Airing:

- Create a bunch of fake social media accounts to shit on me, including getting into twitter fights with myself. Have the fake accounts make it really mean and personal to trick the internet fans into liking me.

- Also get into twitter fights with everyone else, just to cover my tracks.

- Put out fake spoilers that I win just to flex on the reddit winner prediction game.

- If I actually do win, post a bunch on edgic forums about how my chances of winning are literally zero. Bonus points if I can get banned from sucks.

- During exit interview with Rob Cesternino, pretend to be really upset and offended about .

- After the season, delete all social media and disappear as mysteriously as I arrived

5:45pm 05-27-2018 aaa: Your site is the best, Mario. Thank you for creating it! I think the web design is outstanding and I use it as my inspiration.

11:20pm 05-10-2018 Mario: A little bit ironic. Don't you think?

5:39am 05-09-2018 The Face Fan: Ironic that your second Samoa podcast is up just when strong rumours surface that Russell Hantz is coming onto our Aus version as a player.

11:09pm 05-01-2018 Mario: Angus, thank you so much for the comments! I am so proud of those All Star stories, to me they will always be the best things I have ever done. But I would never try to do one again, they are just way too much work and there isn't much of a demand for them anymore. I wrote all three of those stories before there was ever a real All Stars. So the minute they did a real one on the show, that sort of ruined the concept because now you'd be writing about a parallel universe and that just gets confusing. So sadly, I retired from writing those way back in 2003.

I have been meaning to turn all three of them into either printed books, or maybe e-books at some point. I'll let you know if that ever happens. It's something I have been considering for a while.

By the way, have you ever read my book? If you have read all my columns and Funny 115 entries that would be right up your alley. I'm planning to start the next one in a couple of months.

11:05pm 05-01-2018 Mario: Jacob, there wasn't all that much reaction because the fan base of the show for BvsW was a lot different than the fan base during the early seasons. There aren't many people who have stayed with the show since day one, it tends to lose fans along the way and also pick up new ones. So for the few old school fans it was a really big deal, but for most of the fanbase a lot of them wouldn't have even known who Gervase and Tina were. This is one of the reasons I feel it's important to do a show like Survivor Historians.

7:52pm 04-28-2018 Jacob: Hey mario, I am a relatively new school fan, my first live season was San Juan Del Sur, I was just wondering what was the reaction to returnees like Tina and Gervase in Blood vs Water since wasnt watching survivor at the time

1:10pm 04-27-2018 Angus MacIsaac: Hey Mario,

I spend so much time on your website, and just thought to say thank you so much for everything you’ve created! Your podcasts, all star stories, funny 115, even your strategy columns from way back are all so amazing! Discovering everything you’ve done has made my life so much better over the past year, and you’ve without a doubt touched countless lives like that as well, so thank you.

Your all star stories are SO good, like by the time I finished Greece I hadn’t even realized I just read like a 600 page book!!! Have you ever thought of creating a new all star story? You could do best of all time, or your favourite players ever, or even winners! And I know these take you months to make and it’s a ton of work, but personally I would pay $30 for a printed copy of an all star story, and I’m sure there’s a market out there for it.

Anyway, thank you so much Mario. You’re one of a kind.

2:04am 03-13-2018 David M.: LOL at the Sophie entry. Sad that it wasn't higher but damn was it hilarious to relive it.
I don't know if you've seen it but there was a video a few years back when she's interviewed about her bag (?) in the streets of New York and she completely trolls the oblivious interviewer for the duration of the interview. It's glorious but I can't find it back :-(

PS: love your homage to Becky, the original Stone faced queen :-)

8:20pm 03-09-2018 Matt: I loved Kid Nation.Taylor was a super villain

6:05pm 03-07-2018 Jack: I really like that you're saving all your Chase Rice material for one big entry at the end

8:45pm 03-01-2018 Mario: I have a friend make me custom DVDs for every season that I can watch and rewatch and frame step through for what I'm looking for. Although sometimes I just use Amazon Prime since most of the seasons are on there. Then I do ctrl-print screen on a screenshot I want and open it up in paint and format it. It is VERY time consuming, which is why these entries take so long to come out.

4:45pm 03-01-2018 Lisbon: How do you take screen captures of all these scenes??

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